ILLUSTRATING AND PARENTING

At some point in my life, I think at about 13, I began to dream of being an illustrator...at home. Ah, bliss. Looking out the window for inspiration with a cup of coffee in my hand - preferably with an ocean view. Quiet and peaceful. I imagined animals in the backyard. You know? I thought I would have kids someday, but I forgot to imagine kids in the equation. Boy, does that change things! I only have one, but some days there is great impact on my work from the interruptions. I have been getting up earlier and earlier to avoid the interruptions and to preserve the time we spend together. Coincidently she is getting up earlier as well. I used to stay up late to do my work, but that quickly proved not to work as I wanted to get up later and later!

Don't get me wrong. My daughter is a great kid. She just has so much passion for life and everything is of monumental importance. So, there is no way that my deadline is more important than the loss of her favorite pen or the fact that her stuffed friend Tigey needs a bath.

About every six months we go through new difficulties in our routine. We're working it out, but right now...it's a bumpy ride. She has decided she wants to become a writer and again her writer's block is the most important tragedy in the world. (I can relate to a certain extent!) It trumps my necessity to finish my current illustration by August 27th (I DON'T miss deadlines!) and anything else my other clients need. Yesterday was absolutely exhausting. I helped her in the morning, but had to go back to my work. She threw herself at me (and on the ground) in ultimate despair which began to escalate to a deafening pitch. Her persistence turned to harrassment and ultimately gave me the feeling someone was constantly poking me with a sharp stick. (Later she told me she couldn't remember why she was so upset.) My patience was persistent also with promises of a time for me to stop and help again (I always stick to my promises!). Eventually all the energy drained from my body. I was toast. It's funny. Later on when I worked with her she didn't like any of my help. She ended up working happily on her project alone while I lay exhausted in a heap. I don't remember that image in my daydream about the ultimate illustrator's life....but then again, I don't have an ocean view either!